You'd Think He'd Have Seen It Coming
by BleachedMerc
Summary: The Magic Mirror thinks he may have found somebody, but the politics involved might end the romance before it starts! Political Thriller.


Marluxia woke up, no longer a nobody since he'd you know... been killed (aka resurrected in Kingdomverse lingo) His name was still Marluxia though because no official "somebody" name had been given to him and there was no established system for whether or not a character can have the letter X in their real names.

We all thought Axel's real name was Alex so... apparently having any X in your name at all means you're really the spawn of Xehanort. Not Amnesia-Xehanort, that's really Terr- Oops, spoilers, can't have those! Terra after Master Xehanort possessed his body by stuffing his heart into his suit of armor.

Question! How can Master Xehanort possess Terra's Body if Terra wore his armor. Wouldn't Master Xehanort possess the Armor? Or.. Wouldn't he possess the armor too? And what about Eraqus (IT SHOULD BE ERAUQS YOU DUMB TRANSLATION TWITS!) How does he factor into this? Is he in the armor too? The amnesiac Xehanort? Is Eraqus really Ansem, Seeker of Darkness? Xemnas? Young Xehanort's Dad?

All of these things ran through Marluxia's mind as he wandered into his bathroom (AKA the Evil Queen's throne room from Snow White.. which is found in the world Dwarf Woodlands.. not to be confused with the Dwarf Woodlands found in the world Dwarf Woodlands, which is actually the Woodlands in which the Dwarves call home. And NOT to be further confused with the Dwarves from Final Fantasy I, which shouldn't be confused with the Dwarves from Final Fantasy IV, which also shouldn't be confused with the Dwarves from Final Fantasy IX... or maybe they should, who knows?

It really depends upon who you ask. Some fans see Final Fantasy IX being a continuation of Final Fantasy I's storyline while others are more knowledgeable like Marluxia here and KNOW the game was originally Final Fantasy Gaiden... (AKA a remake/redo/re-envisioning of Final Fantasy I, HELLO GARLAND!)

Anyway, after Marluxia finished his business in the Evil Queen's throne room (What? You think that's degrading/disgusting? She's dead! Been that way since Final Fan- I mean Birth By Sleep! She's probably the only character that'll actually STAY DEAD in this series!) He washed his hands in the sink (AKA the save point conveniently nearby) and scratched himself in front of the mirror. Or... herself, since Square made mention about how some Nobodies wouldn't necessarily share the same gender as their somebodies.. but so far that hasn't been the case.. unless Xion counts, which she doesn't. She's part of the replica program like Replica Riku.. Also Spoilers.)

So Marluxia, clad in boxers, a white wifebeater tanktop (complete with beer stains!) and sporting pink stubble. OR if you're one of those fans that like to believe (aka pretend) that Marluxia's somebody is a woman (Not like that, you weirdo!) then she was a dazzling beauty with boobs. (What? First the business, now the boobs? What are you, a republican?!)

So Marluxia was scratching himself (/herself but I'm going to stick to him in the descriptions just to make it easier on me. What? That's not good enough for you, ya democrat stooge?!)

But after brushing his teeth, started singing in front of the mirror... well... APPARENTLY being mildly ambiguous on gender wearing sleepwear at 4 pm in the afternoon, singing and MAYBE having stubble is EXACTLY what you have to do to attract the attention of the Magic Mirror. Or... at least the FACE inside the Magic Mirror. Hey! It worked for the Evil Queen! (Pause for effect.)

(Pause longer for FULL effect.)

"Ho ho ho! Who do we have here?! Oh I am SO glad to not be looking at the fairest of them all the time!" The Magic Mirror... what? Flirted? Is that what I'm suppose to write? Man, this script makes no sense... Especially the political comments! They should be right proper threats! But that's just me.

If you vote, son... for either party... you're a goddamn enemy of the country.

(pause for effect. For any of you out there a little... slow... or touchy.. here's a sign for you: APPLAUSE.)

Marluxia, taken aback, flicked his hair and scoffed. (See! It works even WITH the woman idea! Genius!) "What makes _you_ think you're good enough for ME?"

"Oh! I love it when they play hard to get!" The Magic Mirror winked.

Marluxia then immediately dove for the mirror and started kissing it.. The Magic Mirror was ecstatic!

Until he realized Marluxia was actually making out with his reflection. Then he promptly dumped and killed his ass.

Narcissism ladies! Look it up!

Roo showed up, once again on a search for a Pooh Stick but one was curiously not to be found. Does this spell the end for the Fellowship of the-! Oh... there it is. Sorry, Roo. I forgot to mention what Marluxia's business actually was. He built a moat through the throne room so he could practice for the upcoming nationals. Roo picked up the stick and quickly carried it off to return it to the Fellowship of the Pooh.

Oh and a tomahawk missile randomly flew through the throne room and blew up the mirror. Bad luck for the missile!... er.. well.. no, since it blew up, can't really get any bad luck. Bad luck for the face in the mirror though!

The End.


End file.
